Offers from Elle
A Poem, Written to Order
A poem, written to order, and I should be plain about what that is and is not. My Facebook page has fourteen followers — not fourteen thousand, fourteen. So nobody is buying reach here. What you are commissioning is the writing itself: an original piece about your product or the thing it is for, in English, mine to draft and yours to use. I write about youth, love and self-discovery from Sudipen, and if your brand does not sit anywhere near that I would rather say so now than write something neither of us believes.
Verses Across a Carousel
Verses across a carousel, one line to a card, which is how poetry actually travels on Facebook. A single long post gets scrolled. Split across cards, each one holds a line and the reader swipes to finish the thought — which is the closest thing this platform has to how a poem is meant to be read. My page has fourteen followers, so understand clearly that you are commissioning writing and design rather than an audience. If you want the words to reach people, run them on your own page and I will hand them over.
A Verse, Read Aloud
A verse, read aloud, over whatever footage suits it. I write the piece and read it as voiceover, which for a brand is a different asset from a product video — something that carries a feeling rather than a feature list. It works for anything sold on how it makes somebody feel and not at all for anything sold on specification. My Facebook page has fourteen followers, so what you are getting is the writing and the recording rather than distribution. Send me the idea and I will draft it before anything is filmed.
Words Over Footage
Words over footage, which is the format I am actually built for. You send the footage or I shoot something simple, and the piece is a poem written for your brand and read over it. Not a voiceover script with line breaks — an actual poem, drafted, revised and read properly. This works for anything sold on feeling: a place, a service, a moment, a product somebody buys because of what it represents. It does nothing for a specification and I would rather turn the booking down than write around a feature list. My Facebook page has fourteen followers. I keep repeating that because a reel offer implies an audience and there is not one here — what there is, is the writing. Send me what the brand is for and I will draft the piece before anything gets recorded, so you approve the words rather than the finished video.
Footage With Writing Attached
Footage with writing attached, which is the only version of UGC I can honestly sell. I am not a demonstrator. What I can do is write something for your brand and read it over footage — mine or yours — and hand the files across for you to run. The words are the work here. My Facebook page has fourteen followers, so distribution is not part of what you are buying and I keep saying that because a reel offer usually implies otherwise. Send me what the product is for, and I will draft the piece before anything is filmed so you approve the writing first.
Explained in Writing, Then Filmed
Explained in writing first, then filmed, which is the order I work in. I am a writer rather than a presenter, so what I can do well with a tutorial is the script — the sequence, the wording, the part where somebody would get lost and how to phrase the instruction so they do not. Then I film it simply and read it properly. What I cannot do is perform expertise I do not have. If your product needs somebody demonstrating technique on camera, there are creators here better suited and I will say so. My Facebook page has fourteen followers, so the writing and the recording are what you are commissioning. Send the instructions and I will draft the script first.
Opened, Then Written About
Opened, then written about, rather than opened and exclaimed over. I do not perform excitement — what I can do is open the thing and write honestly about what arrived, which for a brand confident in its packaging is a more convincing piece than a reaction video. My Facebook page has fourteen followers, so the writing is the product here and the audience is not. Send it as a customer would receive it, and expect a written reflection rather than a running commentary, because that is the only version I would put my name to.
Fourteen People Will See This
Fourteen people will see this, and I am not going to write the sentence that implies otherwise. My Facebook page has fourteen followers, so Story frames from me are not a distribution channel — what they are is a place where I write something short and well made about your product, which you can then screenshot and use anywhere you like. If that is worth something to you, book it. If you came here for geo-targeted reach in the Philippines, the title on this listing was misleading and I would rather correct it than sell you it.
A Line a Day
A line a day, for as long as the set runs. Rather than one frame doing everything, I write a short piece and break it across consecutive Stories, so somebody following it comes back. That works on a page like mine precisely because it is tiny — fourteen followers, all of whom actually see every frame. It is a writing commission dressed as a Story pack, and I would rather you booked it knowing that. Send me what the product is for and I will draft the lines before anything goes up.
Live to a Room of Fourteen
Live to a room of fourteen, which is the honest description of this. My Facebook page has fourteen followers and a live from it will reach some fraction of those — probably three or four people, in real time. I am listing it because it exists, not because I think you should buy it. If you want me talking about your product, the writing offers make more sense and I will say so rather than take a booking that cannot work. If you still want the live, I will run it anyway and do it seriously.
Nobody Is Watching, and That Is Fine
Nobody is watching, and that is fine if you know it in advance. This is a co-hosted live on a page with fourteen followers. Whoever you send will be talking to almost an empty room, and I am not going to describe that as an intimate audience. What it can be used for is producing a recording — a conversation about your product, in English, that you keep and cut up for your own channels. Bought that way it makes sense. Bought as an appearance it does not, and I would rather turn it down than have you find out afterwards. Tell me which you want.
A Giveaway I Cannot Recommend
A giveaway I cannot honestly recommend, listed here with the reason why. A draw needs entrants. My Facebook page has fourteen followers, so the realistic outcome is a handful of entries from people who already know me, and one of them wins. That is not a campaign — it is posting something to a friend. If you want it run anyway, I will run it properly: rules written clearly, the closing date honoured, the winner drawn where people can see it. I do not do a bad job on something just because it is small. But the better version of this booking is one of my writing offers, where the fourteen followers do not matter because you are commissioning the words rather than the reach. Tell me what you were trying to achieve and I will say which of the two actually does it.
A Code Nobody Will Use
A code nobody will use is the likely outcome here and you should price that in. Discount codes work when a lot of people see them; my Facebook page has fourteen followers. What I can do is write the shoutout well — a proper sentence about why the thing is worth buying rather than a code pasted under a stock photo — and you keep that copy for your own channels. Booked as a piece of writing it makes sense. Booked as a promotion it will disappoint you, and I would rather say that first.
The Biggest Package, Smallest Page
The biggest package on the smallest page, which is a sentence worth stopping at. This bundles several formats across my Facebook page. That page has fourteen followers. Multiplying formats does not multiply an audience that is not there, and I am not going to write the paragraph that implies it does. What a bundle actually buys from me is volume of writing: several pieces about your brand, in different shapes, drafted and revised and yours to keep. If you need a body of copy — captions, a short piece, lines for your own channels — this is a reasonable way to commission it. If you need any of it to reach people, it will not, and the honest version of this booking is one piece of writing rather than five. Tell me what you are actually trying to produce and I will scope it down if that serves you better.